Denial

Am I the only one in constant denial? Does anyone else not take the evidence that 7 years and 2 miscarriages makes this month an unlikely one to get pregnant? It doesn't matter if I have been having cramps, I still think there is a chance. I could have been spotting, and there is still a chance I could be pregnant. I could have been using a tampon for 3 days, and there is still a chance I could be pregnant. I hate the thought that flashes and then lingers, whispering, "you could be pregnant". And why? Why must I believe and hope and try and try again. I don't want to ever hear the words that solidify my fears that I will never get pregnant. But then again, it would be nice to no longer have my crimson smattered underwear crush my hopes month after month. So...am I the ONLY one in denial?